Over the last couple days I have been constructing a new piece; completely sculptural and made entirely out of the junk that I’ve been acquiring. Attempting to convey a sense of obsessiveness, I had used zip ties to hold it altogether. Surprisingly enough it was extremely sturdy and well balanced; (by this time it was about 7ft. tall). However, as I sat back in my chair and stared at it I felt a sense of emptiness. The same kind of emptiness that some of my undergraduate pieces had exuded. The piece was just a pretty sculpture, lacking any real emotion. Whenever I feel my work has become monotone I get agitated.
So, I became agitated. I dragged the piece out of my studio like some freshly taxidermy animal and heaved it at the raised curb on the 2nd floor ramp. The funny thing was that I had built it too well, and it took numerous attempts to break it down even a little. What was, I guess you could say “beautiful”, about the whole ordeal was that the zip ties kept most of the piece together, though the internal structure had completely folded in on itself. Rather than standing tall, mighty, and hollow, it was now curled in a ball wreathing in pain. It finally had some life in it. I dragged it back to my studio and proceeded to pour colored clear coat on it. I will continue to follow up with a few more layers of color over the next couple days.
I’m very much still in the experimental phase of this journey. However, as I continue trying out new processes with my work, I’m starting to understand when it’s okay to be complacent, and when you just have to break shit.